My White Christmas

by Chai Mendoza

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas” is a famous line from a song my mother used to sing. I remember her singing while cooking, while washing the dishes or even while doing the laundry. The funny thing about it though was that she did it all year round. Yes, it was always Christmas at home!

Christmas may mean different things to different people. For me and my family, Christmas is a time to celebrate the birth of our saviour. Christmas is a time to gather as one and be thankful for His presence. It is a time to show love to one another. We may not have had the literal “white Christmas” but we sure had our take on it. It is a time of forgiveness and a

time to be merry. Time to “whiten” our hearts.

Born from a middle-class family, we’ve had our fair share of colourful Christmas stories. Our

Noche Buena was inconsistent, to say the least. Our table would be full of sumptuous food one year or almost empty the next. It would even have been empty if not only for my mother’s “ma-diskarte” attitude. Gifts were not mandatory so we never expected it until we all started having our own families and kids. Despite of our Noche Buena “ups and downs” though, I always look forward to the Christmas season. This year is no different.

My 2020 started weirdly. It was actually that way for all of us. There were a lot of uncertainties with the pandemic and we were in the dark. Months passed and people, including me, started moving on and dealing with it. I have seen people gather virtually, trying so hard to stay connected to the people who mattered most. Communities adapted and met online. I have witnessed people pausing for a moment to appreciate the simpler things in life. I am sure my co-plantitas would agree with me. I’ve heard of friends and families realizing that their confinement at home is a gift to spend time with their loved ones. I have started to grasp the reality we are in and took advantage of this moment to pursue my passion in cooking and baking. I have always loved cooking and baking not because I like eating delicious food but because of the satisfaction I get from sharing my God-given talent and skill to people. By all means, cooking and baking is no easy feat because you have to invest time, energy, and patience doing it. However, when I serve my prepared food and people eat with gusto, all my stress and time are worth it.

Though this year may have started oddly, we should end it the way we always end our year, with grateful hearts. We saw people thrive and fight their way through difficult situations. We may lost friends or even family members along the way but we are survivors. We are still here and are able to witness the goodness of our Maker. We are witnesses to His strength and love for us. The mere fact that we are still breathing is already the best gift anyone can ever receive this Christmas. Yes, the pandemic may not be over but our anxiety and helplessness should be. I am not saying that we should take this lightly or even for granted. All I am saying is that we should start living for it is indeed Christmas everyday! Just like how my mom made us feel, “our days merry and bright; so may all your Christmases be white.”

** first published in Ang Panimalay 4Q 2021