Motherhood

by Chai Mendoza

When Mother’s Day came last May, I expected flowers or gifts of some sort. You might wonder why someone who does not have a child yet expect a gift on Mother’s Day? Let me tell you why but first let me share a little something about me.

I married late so child-bearing was and is expectedly difficult. I probably tried more than a handful ways to get pregnant but still of no success which I am not bitter about. Oh no! Don’t get me wrong, I am still hopeful that miraculously I will bear a child but I know that I will still be contented if I don’t. So I may not be a mother yet but the people around me definitely make me feel and show me how it is to be a mother which scares me and excites me at the same time.

I looked up to my mom for I grew up so close to her that I could just tell her anything and everything. She was the fist person who showed me what “Motherhood" is. According to the Urban Dictionary, a Mom is “The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself and the one who you can always count on above everyone else” and my mom was literally that kind of person. She would even sacrifice meals for us. She was great indeed! I should not wonder then why my sister is also the same. She may have an old and broken Samsung phone while her children have the latest gadgets but she is still happy and will just laugh when we tease her about her phone. I guess that’s what we call one of the many sacrifices of motherhood. She isn’t alone in showing me those sacrifices. My sister-in-law is also a mother who deserves more than a round of applause. She has gone thru lengths to become the mother she is now. She gave up so much and went through so much that a busy day like having her right hand on her laptop while the other is carrying her baby as she breastfeeds is just a piece of cake. My aunts, friends and HCC sisters also constantly show me the joys, sorrows and everything in between of being a mother. So I can just imagine what Mother Mary had to go through sacrificing her son for us all. And these are only a few of the mothers who are note-worthy and worthy of praise fitting of Proverbs 31:29 “There are many virtuous and capable

women in the world, but you surpass them all!”

For now, I am contented, proud and grateful to be amongst mothers who define Love. They get to share their kids with me. They share their experiences, their stories, their lives with me. I am thankful that my nephews and nieces give me the privilege of being their “Mama Chai”. To be called and treated as their Mama give me meaning. I may not have the same sacrifices as their real mothers but I did get a bouquet of flowers. The flowers though were just fleeting, it wilted over time but I must say that I still got one of the best gifts; a little taste of motherhood.

** first published in Ang Panimalay 2Q 2021