God's Promise

by Ernie Abesamis

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord your God, He is that does go with you; He will not fail you, nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Since the start of the pandemic in early March, I had been receiving a consistent message about not being afraid and of God’s assurance of protection during my prayer time. When the pandemic was at the peak of sowing fear among all of us, I found myself calm and collected in preparing for the worst possibilities this pandemic can bring to our family, our business and the corporate entity that I manage. Little did I know that God’s messages in my prayer time wasn’t only exhorting me to face the effects of the pandemic but to prepare myself for a more personal mission He will task me to carry.

In June, James and I were in for a surprise when we learned that I was expecting. For the

last several years, he had been teasing me about having another baby but I was consistent in saying that I am already good of having Jaime and Mary. An incompetent cervix had made me gone through difficult pregnancies where we had several emergency trips to the hospital due to premature contractions and bleeding. This probably brought about an unconscious trauma in going through another pregnancy. But in the last few years, I sensed a growing desire from James to have another child seeing him so excited as some of our relatives and friends would welcome a new baby in the family. I was battling inside as to having another baby or not given my condition and my age. I have even found myself sharing this hesitation during a confession and asked the priest to help me sort out my feelings and to clearly identify if it is only rooted from selfishness to deny this desire

because I don’t want to be inconvenienced.

God surely has been hearing James’ deepest longing that He also started to work on me, but He never insisted His will on me. He patiently and lovingly waited until I was willing to accept and carry His will. Expecting in a time of pandemic is unfathomable to someone as cautious and safety-conscious like me. We even have done all our essential purchases online and stayed at home the whole time since March. I didn’t imagine myself going out of the house for the first time in late June and did “hospital-hopping” as I did my first prenatal in Perpetual Hospital, my laboratory tests and cerclage surgery in Chong Hua Hospital, and

my regular TVS and check up at Cebu Doctors Hospital.

God’s promise indeed is trustworthy. He has driven out my fears and continues to give me courage whenever I feel fear and uncertainty. All those fears and anxieties faded into the background as I found myself soaking in confidence and joy in His perfect love which was shown to me through the people around me. Due to my fragile pregnancy condition, I have very limited physical activity but my husband, James, has been lovingly and patiently taking care of all my needs, including personally serving me my meals, clipping my nails and preparing my personal clothes. Our children, Jaime and Mary have been stepping up in doing the household chores and are excited to see their baby sister soon and pray for her daily. I have received so much love from them when they try to rub my back due to some discomfort until I can fall asleep. I have friends, brothers and sisters who faithfully pray for us and serve us in their own special way.

I am now on my 29th week. With less than 12 weeks to go, we will welcome a new soldier of

Christ in our family. One thing will continue to amaze me -- that if we embrace the will of God in our lives, no pandemic, fears or anxieties can keep us from experiencing His great love, joy and peace. Indeed, God’s perfect love casts out all fears.

** first published in Ang Panimalay 4Q 2020