"Hope" shared in Arise; the Sheena Dubduban story

shared by Sheena Dubduban on December 17, 2023 Arise Concert

I was once a Sunday-only Christian attending mass out of obligation. Until I finished high school, there’s always that void in my heart that nothing and no one has ever filled.

Last 2015, I received a text from an unknown number inviting me to attend a Catholic youth group called Christ’s Youth in Action or CYA. Without even thinking, I decided to join.  That random text message led me to where I am today.  I became a committed member of CYA Cebu. Little did I know that serving the Lord through this group would actually fill that void in my heart that I’ve been longing for. 

However, my new-found faith in God wasn’t smooth sailing at all. I thought life would spare me from experiencing problems if I serve the Lord. To my surprise, last 2016 I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer [Hodgkin’s lymphoma]. I can vividly remember how devastated I was by that news. The result of my biopsy was released at the same time as my study load in school. I withdrew all my subjects to submit myself to medication. I stopped going to school for a year and I stopped serving in CYA.

I went through 16 sessions of chemo & 24 sessions of radiation therapy. It wasn’t an easy journey. There were days & nights where I have to be rushed in the hospital because of difficulty breathing. I was even given the highest dose of oral pain reliever because the site of injections every after my chemo sessions became very painful. I was also in pain after my 24th session of radiation therapy. It burnt the skin in my neck and some parts of my chest.  In between these sessions there were unending vomits, sleepless nights, and falling hair because of side effects in taking strong meds. If not for God’s great love and presence in my life, I do not know how I endured the pains I suffered.   

I praise Him for extending my life. I’m on my 5th year of being in remission. I went back to school in 2017 and became an active member of CYA again. I didn’t hesitate to serve again in this youth ministry because I believe that the life I have right now isn’t just for me anymore, but for others as well.  He wants me to declare his great mercy in healing the sick and to give hope in Christ’s victory.    

I was able to finish college in June 2021 & passed the optometry licensure exam in Nov 2022.

My journey of becoming a licensed professional wasn’t smooth sailing either. In fact, the board exam was cancelled twice due to the pandemic. I also struggled to prepare for the board exams because of brain fog, a long term side effect of chemotherapy where I forget things easily. Moreover, I cannot sacrifice my health with the stress of all-night review study.  To top it all, I was too insecure because of low comprehension endurance compared to my batchmates.  But the Lord reminded me to just do my best, and He will take care of the rest just as He did when I battled cancer. My inspiration during my review sessions were the pedia cancer patients. They reminded me to remain hopeful.  It even fueled the fire in me as I see the image of Christ in them.  Once again, the Lord did not fail me. He gave me peace while taking my written exams, as well as the confidence I desperately needed facing the board examiners during my practical exams. 

Even though I was consumed by my insecurities, I still prayed to be on the topnotcher’s list, kahit top 4 lang Lord. But to be honest after the written exams I just asked the Lord “kahit pass na lang Lord”.  On Nov 7, 2022, the result was released. The Lord was so generous that He landed me on 3rd place.  God humbled me that after what I have gone through, I would see his glory revealed through me, not by my own strength but by his.    

Through the years, the Lord has been really personal and merciful to me. That void in my heart 13years ago, everyday it’s being filled with His presence in my family and in this community. 

This youth ministry has been very instrumental in my growth as a Christian. As my way of paying it forward, I have decided to continue to live out our battle cry in CYA, KKBBH. I have heard the Lord’s call for me to apply as a part-time youth worker in CYA CEBU.  I simply obeyed and happily serving God in this capacity up to now.

I have experienced the highs & the lows of this life, from being a young girl who’s feeling a gap in her heart to being a woman who actively serves the Lord in any way that she can in spite of life’s uncertainties. I’m certain that His love will never fail me. That when all else fail, I know my God will never fail me. 

In 2 Cor 12:8-10, Paul pleaded with God to take away the thorn in his flesh and I quote “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

I believe God allowed this thorn in my flesh not to punish me, but as a perfect means of strengthening me. All for the sake of Christ and to spread the wonderful news of salvation to others. To show to everyone how God’s power alone is sufficient. Truly, His power is made perfect in my weaknesses.

The sufferings of my present time are nothing compared to the future glory that will be revealed in me. 

I want to quote the lyrics of a song Only Hope,

 “ So I lay my head back down 

And I lift my hands and pray 

To be only yours I pray 

To be only yours I know now you're my only hope”

My hope is in the Lord who is the perfecter of my faith. Hope anchored on solid rock, which is Jesus. An anchor that is firm and secure. 

Just like a boat’s anchor that allows the boat to remain fixed and unmoving regardless of the conditions at sea. With Jesus Christ as my anchor, no thorn of the flesh can drift me away from Him. It holds me steady in this life because it is firmly attached to the throne of God. 

No sickness or trials can overwhelm me now because the Lord has already won it for me.